I got invited to a friend’s New Year’s dinner party last week. As busy as I am I decided to go for two reasons:
1. I needed a night off from being a mom, student, wife and worker.
2. It was an invite only event for mommies like me that happens once a month. Mothers like myself share and talk about struggles we face everyday as young mothers while juggling other things.
I had to go, it was right up my alley as a juggler ! And I am glad I did since my friend has been trying to get me to go for a while now. On the day I confirmed my attendance she reminded me not to bring my mobile or camera and handed me a landline to pass to hubby for any emergencies. Without even giving me a question to ask why she had put the phone down. Two days later I arrived at the hotel where the event was held. There were 12 of us in a private room. Over dinner and champagne we were discussing serious issues mothers face day to day. A lot was said , we agreed and disagreed on certain things. We even laughed about how some of us went through similar journeys on this motherhood path. And the engagement in the room quickly clarified the reason why phones and cameras are banned in these monthly events. They will be destructive. I took so much in and I want to share one of the topic that we touched on
How our appearances change after becoming mothers.
All I know for sure is, every woman’s journey is different after becoming a mother especially if it’s your first one. Speaking from my own experience, worrying about how I looked was the least of my worries after having sleepless nights of feeds and nappy changing. So, how long does one be in the state of I don’t care about my appearance – priority is my baby go on for? Personally , hair , nails and makeup didn’t matter as I am not big on them anyway. I was more into pj all day mode a lot but my priority was looking after myself healthy wise. The change in appearance I am talking about here is when a women let herself go in terms of daily appearance and body weight. I am not talking about taking pride of yourself based on money as people believe you need to have money to take care of yourself.
The aftermath of having a child can have a lot of knock down effects like gaining weight, stretch marks, depression, the list is endless. I am talking about basic love of yourself and appreciating what your body has done for you. I am not going to comment on the weight issue because I didn’t have that issue on both my pregnancies but I will say whether you gained weight or not one should put effort on what they eat as mothers need a lot of energy to take care of our babies. In terms of appearances, all I mean is have a shower daily, brushing your hair, shaving just simple things. Also depending on your situation regarding who is helping you with childcare, ask for an hour or two that will be dedicated to yourself doing things that you enjoy most. This is where the problem start and before you know it, it is 3 years later you still on being a new mom mode. A difficult question is how do you find that happy balance of being a mom and be your old self too? That is one question I think every woman should look at their situation and we must not be too quick to judge other on their appearances after becoming mothers as they may be struggling and overwhelmed.
* Dress – Asos
* Glasses – Moschino
* Bag – Dune London